Picking up Strays
by Shuichi Akai
Summary: "Corazon I thought you hated kids? No, you can't keep him! Put him back where you found him this instant!"
1. Chapter 1

**Picking Up Strays**

**Title: **Picking Up Strays  
**Rating: **T  
**Fandom: **One Piece  
**Summary: **"Corazon I thought you hated kids? No, you can't keep him! Put him back where you found him this instant!"

* * *

Corazon hated kids. Well, that was a lie. He had to prevent children from joining the Donquixote Pirates. Besides, if those kids couldn't survive a few beatings then they wouldn't survive the life of a pirate. The seas were dangerous after all.

Yet somehow, Corazon found himself returning to the El Flamenco with a baby boy in his arms and a bag full of baby supplies. The Donquixote Pirates stared at him as if he had grown an extra head. They silently watched in shock and confusion as Corazon put away the baby supplies in his room and began to prepare a bottle of formula.

The captain was the first to snap out of his trance. "Corazon, I thought you hated kids?"

Corazon quickly scribbled down two words in response. **"I do,"**

"You do realize that it's a baby snow leopard Mink, right?" Doflamingo asked.

Corazon sent a glare to him. _**"His **_**name is Law,"**

Law was silently sucking on his pacifier while being held in one of Corazon's arms. He grabbed a fistful of Corazon's black feathered coat and buried his face into it, enjoying the soft texture.

"Where did you get him?" Doflamingo inquired.

**"Rescued him from slavers,"**

_'Ah,' _Doflamingo nodded in understanding. _'Since we suffered as children, I can't really blame him,' _"What are you going to do with him?"

** "He's my son now," **

Doflamingo read the newest note once, then twice, and then a third time. "No, you can't keep him,"

**"Yes I can and I will," **He finished preparing the formula and took a seat at the dining table.

"Corazon put him back where you found him this instant," Doflamingo ordered.

**"No," **Corazon shook his head and held the bottle to Law who began to drink hungrily.

"I'm dropping him off at an orphanage," Doflamingo reached to take Law from his brother.

A loud snap echoed throughout the dining room. "Don't ****ing touch my son!"

Law clapped his hands happily. "Yay!"

The elder Donquixote hissed in pain, cradling his broken hand. "What the hell is wrong with you Corazon!?"

Corazon took out his pistol and aimed it at Doflamingo. "You would do anything to protect your family. The same applies to me. If you try to take my son away from me again, I'll put a bullet through your skull!" He stood up and the father and son duo left the dining room.

"Corazon just spoke!" Pica exclaimed, breaking the silence.

"And he broke Doffy's wrist!" Trebol added.

"Uhahaha, he must really love that kid if he dared such a bold move," Diamante snickered. "Doffy, you have a nephew now,"

XXX

"Has anyone seen Dellinger?" Jora asked as she entered the living room where most of the crew was.

"Cora-san stole him-dasuyan," Buffalo answered.

"Stole him?" Doflamingo quirked an eyebrow.

"Dellinger is now Law's brother," Baby 5 said. "Cora-san said so,"

"And where is Corazon?" Doflamingo questioned.

"Stabbing bread in the kitchen," Baby 5 answered. "He said that bread is evil,"

Doflamingo face-palmed. "None of you thought it wasn't okay for Corazon to handle a knife?"

"He needed me to not stop him!" Baby 5 protested.

Doflamingo sighed and headed to the kitchen. "Co—"

"So what do you boys do if you are ever offered bread?" Corazon asked the two babies.

"Stab!" Dellinger answered. "Stab bwead!"

"Den stab dem!" Law added.

"Good job," Corazon's knife flew out of his hand and nearly cut off Doflamingo's ear.

"Corazon!" Doflamingo scolded. "You know you're not allowed near knives much less hold one!"

"Doffy I am offended!" Corazon exclaimed. "You _don't _want me to teach my two sons how to protect themselves?"

"You're teaching them to stab bread," Doflamingo pointed out.

"Of course! Bread is evil!" Corazon defended. "What if some random stranger offers them bread laced with sleeping medicine!? What if a random stranger offers them bread laced with poison!? What if a random stranger offers them bread that will explode when bitten into!?"

"I hope you realize that those methods could be applied to any food," Doflamingo rolled his eyes. "And Dellinger's not your son,"

Corazon slapped Doflamingo so fast that the captain couldn't even attempt to dodge. "Dellinger is as much of my son as Law is! They're brothers like you and I are!"

"Jora was the one who ad—"

"Want me to break your other hand?" Corazon threatened. "Or do you want me to blow your brains out?"

_'This man _can't _be Rocinante,' _Doflamingo he shook his head and returned to the living room. _'He's acting way too different. Perhaps someone with a Devil Fruit is impersonating him?'_

A few seconds later the crew heard a loud crash and a loud cry. Law and Dellinger waddled out of the kitchen unharmed. "Dada twip and kni' go fly an' stab Dada,"

"I'll go get the first aid kit," Jora muttered as she headed for the med bay.

_ 'On second thought, there's no way anyone could mimic his clumsiness,' _Doflamingo thought.

XXX

The Donquixote Pirates were fleeing an island, the Marines having been spotted on the other end of the island. "Where the hell's Corazon!?" Doflamingo exclaimed.

Corazon was rushing towards the ship with three babies in his arms. He tripped over air molecules but Doflamingo used his strings to control him and had him continue running without tripping. As soon as the gangplank was raised, the ship left the dock. Corazon collapsed on the deck. "Let me count my babies," He pointed at each of them. "One, two, three, yep we got them all,"

"Three?" Everyone's eyes fell onto the newcomer.

"Dis Bepo," Dellinger introduced.

"Owah baby bwodder," Law claimed.

"Bepo's a Mink like Law," Corazon explained. "But Bepo's a polar bear, not a snow leopard,"

"Corazon, you can't just pick up any kid you want and claim them to be yours," Doflamingo said.

Corazon gave him a blank stare. "Isn't that how Baby 5 joined?"

"Okay that's beside the point," Doflamingo told him. "Corazon, why did you even bring the polar bear with you?"

"Some men were hunting bears to _eat_!" Corazon explained. "They started chasing poor Bepo despite him saying that he was a Mink!"

XXX

Doflamingo was woken up in the middle of the night by the rest of the family. He hated having his beauty sleep interrupted. "Someone better be dying!"

"Corazon adopted two more kids,"

"Of course he did," Doflamingo mumbled. _'Is it me or is the ship slanting?'_

"They're on the deck,"

Doflamingo threw on his coat and stormed out onto the deck to deal with whatever problem Corazon had created. "Corazon," He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Please tell me why the hell there's an orca calf and a penguin chick on the deck,"

"They're my sons, Willy and Penguin!" Corazon claimed.

"My name's Shachi," The whale corrected.

"They're literally a whale and a penguin!" Doflamingo pointed out. "They're not even Minks!"

"That's racist!" Corazon accused. "Just because they're not part of the human race or the Mink race, they can't be my sons? You're such an asshole!"

"The front half of El Flamenco is literally sticking out of the water because of the weight of the whale!"

"Now you're making fun of my son's weight!? You're not being a good uncle!"

"You know what? I give up!" Doflamingo threw his hands into the air and started heading back inside. "I'm going back to sleep!"

And thus, Rocinante adopted a total of twenty one kids.

**Random Omake**

The newcomer today was a man with spiky black hair and pale grey eyes. "Yo," He greeted. "I'm Rei Alistair, Rocinante's friend,"

Doflamingo's eyes landed on the unconscious Sir Crocodile. He raised a brow in confusion.

"That's my older brother, Crocodile the Desert King," Alistair informed. "Since I'm chilling with Roci and his kids, I thought that you'd want a companion,"

Doflamingo silently walked over to Crocodile, hoisted him over his shoulder, and then headed back to his chambers.

* * *

**Corazon adopted all of the animal versions of the Heart Pirates. Alistair is an OC from the Tales Universe.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Picking up Strays**

**Title: **Picking Up Strays  
**Rating: **T  
**Fandom: **One Piece  
**Summary: **A continuation of the first part, including the random Omake. Corazon still has kids. But now with a sequel to his craziness.

* * *

"You know," Alistair, one of Corazon's childhood friends, told Corazon as Doflamingo had dragged Crocodile away. "You remind me of Whitebeard. You both adopted a bunch of kids and are protective of them,"

"I respect Whitebeard," Corazon claimed. "He's a family man, just like me,"

"Speaking of family, I wonder how Senny's gonna react," Alistair pondered. "Since you're his son and you have twenty one kids that means that Senny's got twenty one grandkids!"

"Are you guys talking about Sengoku the Buddha, a Marine admiral!?" The duo had completely forgotten about the rest of the crew who were in the room.

"Yeah, he adopted Rocinante," Alistair answered. "Why?"

The Donquixote Pirates all glared at Corazon. "Traitor! You're a Marine!"

"Oh, Roci is definitely _not _a Marine!" Alistair laughed. "He joined but after he destroyed so many things as a chore boy, he was kicked out. Since Roci loves animals, Sengoku had him take care of the Den-Den Mushi and the pets of deployed Marines,"

"I was _not _kicked out!" Corazon claimed. "I just chose to leave to pursue the path of animal caretaking,"

_"Sure," _Alistair chuckled. "Seriously, let's head to Marineford. I want to see his face when he hears the news,"

XXX

Along the way, they stopped by Sabaody Archipelago. A Celestial Dragon ship had been shipwrecked and the only survivors were a single Celestial Dragon and his gorilla slave. Without hesitating, Corazon shot the Celestial Dragon in the head and freed the gorilla. The witnesses all turned a blind out, smiling as the event was carried out. The gorilla was named Jean-Bart and, despite being fully grown, became Rocinante's twenty second kid.

They finally reached Marineford. Since they had taken the Donquixote Pirates' ship (accidentally forgetting about Crocodile's ship along the journey) the Marines had been prepared to fight. Corazon happily skipped down the gangplank, tripping and falling face-first into the ground.

"Oh, it's just Sengoku's kid,"

"It's that clumsy brat,"

"Did he somehow defeat the Donquixote Pirates with his clumsiness?"

"I bet he was observing them from above and fell, crashing into all of them,"

"Marineford is doomed. He's going to destroy HQ,"

Corazon's eye twitched in annoyance. "SHUT UP!"

XXX

Sengoku was not in his office. Corazon decided that he and his children would wait inside Sengoku's office until he returned. The admiral entered his office and froze, staring at the baby animals and full grown gorilla. "GARP! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO!?"

"Hey, it wasn't me this time!" Garp popped into the office.

Sengoku stared at Garp for a moment and sighed. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I actually believe you, though I bet you did play some part in this,"

"Sengoku-san, these are my twenty two kids!" Corazon cheerfully announced. "Garp-san helped carry Shachi here,"

"Hi," The orca calf raised a flipper and waved. The rest of the animals followed suit.

Sengoku just stood there, frozen once again. "Why? How did you even get all of these animals!?"

"Law's from slavers and Jean-Bart's from a Celestial Dragon I murdered," Corazon casually informed. "The rest I just picked up along the way,"

"Wait, you murdered a Celestial Dragon?" Garp stared at him with disbelief.

"Picked up along the way?" Sengoku gaped. Surprisingly, Sengoku ignored the Celestial Dragon part. "You can't just randomly declare a child yours!"

"But that's what you did with me," Corazon reminded. "Now why don't you get to know your grandkids?"

"You're just like Whitebeard, adopting a bunch of kids," Sengoku sighed. "At least you're not pirates,"

"We're the Heart Pirates!" Law declared, his siblings roaring in agreement.

At that moment, Sengoku nearly died of a heart attack.

XXX

The Heart Pirates didn't immediately separate from the Donquixote Pirates. After hours of begging and using his kids' cute looks, Doflamingo agreed to have his crew train them. Doflamingo had to tie Corazon up whenever he got pissed when his kids were hit during the training sessions. He especially gained an intense hatred of Vergo who beat his kids to near death. Hell, Doflamingo actually stepped in and claimed that Vergo was overdoing it.

The Marines no longer hunted the Donquixote Pirates down. Not wanting to endanger his son and grandkids, Sengoku suggested to the Gorosei to let Doflamingo become a warlord. When they refused, Doflamingo brought up the fact that he knew the secret treasure of Mariejois. That shut them up and Doflamingo officially was a Shichibukai.

Crocodile and Alistair were forced to sail with Doflamingo until they were reunited with Crocodile's ship. The Klabautermann of Il Coccodrillo was pissed that he had been left behind and called his captain a weakling, resulting in an argument that ended with Crocodile sleeping on deck during a rainy night.

Years later, the Heart Pirates (which Dellinger was a part of) finally set sail in the submarine that Doflamingo _definitely_ did not steal. Once they were gone, the El Flamenco was much more spacious. He and his crew threw a celebration.

XXX

"So you're Whitebeard?" Law asked when the two crews encountered each other.

"Yes," Whitebeard nodded. "And you are?"

"Donquixote Law," The snow leopard Mink answered. "Apparently your crew calls you Pops?"

"Pops is the best father in the whole world!" The crew declared.

"Sorry to burst your bubble," Law claimed as his siblings walked over to his side. "But _our _dad is the best!"

While the two crews were arguing, thankfully only verbally, Whitebeard and Corazon were sharing cute photos and embarrassing stories about their kids.

* * *

**So Whitebeard and Corazon created a friendship through fatherhood.**

**The reason I created another chapter was because I miscounted the Heart Pirates. The canon Heart Pirates had twenty one members, however in this story Dellinger joins them so I should have written twenty two in the previous chapter. **


End file.
